Godly Christian Marriages: Blessed Marriages
Ephesians 5:25 (NKJV) 25 "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church."
Ephesians 5:24 (NKJV) 24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything."
Happy the home when God is there,
And love fills every breast;
When one their wish, and one their prayer,
And one their heav’nly rest.
Wonderful Marriages Should Be The Rule, Not the Exception For Christians!
A wonderful marriage should be the rule and not the exception for the follower of Christ. I enjoy a wonderful marriage. My wife was chosen for me by God—I wasn't looking to be married, but God had other plans; shares my values and aspirations in life; was perfectly suited for the kind of ministry work I do—I travel a lot so that was a tall order, and do massive amounts of reading; and has become my partner, soul-mate and best friend in every respect of the word. I think she would say the same thing. I call her my "better equal," since I have so much respect for her. On this page I try to share things I have learned that have brought about such a good marriage.—Dan
Books and Articles on Christian Marriages
Ellen White on Christian Marriages
The Christian Marriage - Ellen White
This page contains several chapters on the subject of marriage from Counsels to the Church.
Zelinsky Newlywed Letter - Ellen White
This is a highly instructive letter on the godly balance between the husband's leadership role and the wife's respect, calling for mutual self-denial and self-sacrifice.
Sacred Ordinance of Marriage - Ellen White
"If the Lord’s professed believing people would be under rule to the Prince of Life, the husband will be the head of the wife and she in her deep love can lean upon her husband, while he is indeed, if he answers the purpose of God, to be priest in his religious service and houseband to bind about the family relation. Pure, clean, holy affections will be a testimony to the world of happy Christian homes. The wife is [to] love, respect, and counsel with her husband. The wife is to be the queen of the home, not a slave but a part of the hallowed union." {Ms202-1903.6} Read the rest of this short but most instructive article on the marriage relationship.
Sacred Duties of Home Life - Ellen White
"If we are doers of the word, we shall daily bear the cross after Jesus, subdue self, and thus bring harmony into the home life. The sweetest type of heaven is a home where the Spirit of the Lord presides. If the will of God is fulfilled, the husband and wife will respect each other, and cultivate love and confidence. Anything that would mar the peace and unity of the family should be firmly repressed, and kindness and love should be cherished. He who manifests the spirit of tenderness, forbearance, and love, will find that the same spirit will be reflected upon him. Where the Spirit of God reigns, there will be no talk of unsuitability in the marriage relation. If Christ indeed is formed within, the hope of glory, there will be union and love in the home. Christ abiding in the heart of the wife, will be at agreement with Christ abiding in the heart of the husband. They will be striving together for the mansions Christ has gone to prepare for those who love him." {ST November 14, 1892, par. 2} Read the rest of Sacred Duties Of Home Life.
Christ's Love Never Destroys Human Love
"God has ordained that there should be perfect love and harmony between those who enter into the marriage relation. Let bride and bridegroom, in the presence of the heavenly universe, pledge themselves to love each other as God has ordained they should. Let no draught of unkindness chill the atmosphere of love which should surround them. The wife is to respect and reverence her husband, and the husband is to love and cherish his wife. As the priest of the household, the husband and father should bind his wife and children to his heart. The wife should feel that the large affections of her husband sustain her before her children are born, and after their birth he should co-operate with her in the management of the little ones, who should be wisely, firmly, tenderly, lovingly educated." {ST September 6, 1899, par. 9}
Counsel On The Role Of Husbands In Marriage
This is a key document on marriage in Mrs. White's writings!
"It was not the design of God that the husband should have control, as head of the house, when he himself does not submit to Christ. He must be under the rule of Christ that he may represent the relation of Christ to the church. If he is a coarse, rough, boisterous, egotistical, harsh, and overbearing man, let him never utter the word that the husband is the head of the wife, and that she must submit to him in everything; for he is not the Lord, he is not the husband in the true significance of the term." – {21MR 215.6}
Blend, Blend, Blend In Marriage
In this talk, given at the marriage of Dores E. Robinson and Ella M. White in 1905, important clues are given on how to blend the individuality and identities of the husband and wife. Must reading!
Brother And Sister Craig— An Unconverted Self-Centered, Granite-Willed, Wife
This letter is addressed to a married couple who was being negatively impacted by the wife's unsubdued will. In this case Mrs. White recommended taking her back to her mother. Take it as a sober warning!!!!!
Other Authors On Christian Marriages
Advice On Marriage - Meade MacGuire
This is a brief article that addresses the question of marrying outside of the faith.
The Real Home - Vesta Farnsworth
This is a wonderful book on marriage written by an SDA. You will be blessed! Rose has been busily reading this book and reading portions. Everything I have heard is wonderful! Additional Format:
Love Courtship Marriage - A. W. Spalding
All of Spalding's books are helpful. He appears to have been commissioned by Ellen White to especially work for families, which he did untiringly. As the leader of the family ministry department at the General Conference he wrote, and encouraged the writing, of books and pamphlets on marriage and children.
The Christian Home - A. W. Spalding
Published as a tract, there are only a few pages but the information provided is very meaningful.
Makers of the Home - A. W. Spaulding
This is a wonderful book on courtship, marriage and parenting from the married couple's perspective. It is unfortunately little known.
Courtship and Marriage - E. A. Sutherland
Final paragraph: "In the work that faces us one of the greatest difficulties, one of the greatest hindrances to advancement comes as the result of hasty, ill-advised marriages. This is one of Satan's most, successful methods for thwarting the purpose of God for our young people. Every school should recognize its duty to prepare men and women to follow in the Savior's steps as workers for their fellow men. It should also train them to patiently wait for mature judgment in the selection of their partners in this work.
Choosing A Marriage Partner - Dan Augsburger
Finding God's choice of a husband or wife is a key element of a happy marriage. Here are some thoughts that others have found helpful in evaluating a potential partner for a godly marriage.
Quotations On Godly Marriages
There are many thoughts on godly marriages in the writings of Ellen White. I will add quotations from time to time.
Key Words
The following words are helpful when seeking to study more on the subject of marriage:
Sacred ordinance, institution, sacred circle, domestic happiness, tender, beautiful, sanctioning. Remember to pair the words to find fewer quotations.