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Seeking A Christian Marriage Partner And Godly Courtships

"Love is a sentiment so sacred that but few know what it is. It is a term used, but not understood. The warm glow of impulse, the fascination of one young person for another is not love; it does not deserve the name. True love has an intellectual basis, a deep, thorough knowledge of the object loved. But this catching up with objects and bestowing on them the thoughts and affections, is without reason, without judgment, and is excessive, temporary, and sensual."

Ellen White, Letter 59, 1880.10

"If those who are contemplating marriage would not have miserable, unhappy reflections after marriage, they must make it a subject of serious, earnest reflection now. This step taken unwisely is one of the most effective means of ruining the usefulness of young men and women. Life becomes a burden, a curse. No one can so effectually ruin a woman’s happiness and usefulness, and make life a heart-sickening burden, as her own husband; and no one can do one hundredth part as much to chill the hopes and aspirations of a man, to paralyze his energies and ruin his influence and prospects, as his own wife. It is from the marriage hour that many men and women date their success or failure in this life, and their hopes of the future life."

Choosing A Christian Marriage Partner

Ellen White On Seeking A Christian Husband Or Wife

Unwise Marriages - Ellen White

"Few have correct views of the marriage relation. Many seem to think that it is the attainment of perfect bliss; but if they could know one quarter of the heart-aches of men and women that are bound by the marriage vow in chains that they cannot and dare not break, they would not be surprised that I trace these lines. Marriage, in a majority of cases, is a most galling yoke. There are thousands that are mated but not matched. The books of heaven are burdened with the woes, the wickedness, and the abuse, that lie hidden under the marriage mantle. This is why I would warn the young who are of a marriageable age, to make haste slowly in the choice of a companion. The path of married life may appear beautiful and full of happiness; but why may not you be disappointed as thousands of others have been?" Read Unwise Marriages by Mrs. White


Letters to Brother Vaucher (Basel, Switzerland)

First Letter To Brother Vaucher On Marriages Instituted By The Enemy (Letter 25, 1885)

In this instructive letter Ellen White labors with the young man to recognize that his interest in marriage is eclipsing, and slowly obliterating, his interest in the work of God. She also asserts that his persistent refusal to accept the wishes of her parents indicates a dictatorial attitude that would later poison the marriage. She also points out that the daughters first obligation is to obey the injunctions of her parents. There is much to learn in this letter. 

Second Letter To Brother Vaucher On The Deceptive Courtships That Often Take Place (Letter 3, 1886)

In this second letter written to Brother Vaucher, who was secretly pursuing a young woman behind the backs of her parents, important principles are shared regarding Christian courtship. 


Case Studies On Seeking Husband Or Wife

These are portions of letters Mrs. White wrote to young people who were contemplating marriage. You will find them instructive if you are seeking to determine God's will in your situation.

Letter To Brother Albert

In this letter she writes Albert about his love for Hattie, and how she is leading Him on even though she is not sure she loves him. Pointing out that no one can forbid their going forward, she asserts their marriage would be a mistake—they would be mated but not matched—and how Hattie would need to withdraw from the office since such a relationship would demoralize the other employees in the office. Must reading!!

Brother James And The Dangers Of Early Attachments

This is an important letter on the dangers of early attachments. Must reading!

Brother And Sister Craig— An Unconverted Self-Centered, Granite-Willed, Wife

This letter is addressed to a married couple who was being negatively impacted by the wife's unsubdued will. In this case Mrs. White recommended taking her back to her mother. This letter is included on this page as a sober warning of what can happen when poor matches are made instead of what God desires.


Quotations On Choosing A Christian Wife Or Husband

Here you will find helpful quotations on choosing a marriage partner.


Other Authors On Marriage

Advice On Marriage - Meade MacGuire

This is a brief article that addresses the question of marrying outside of the faith. It is excellent

Choosing A Marriage Partner - Dan Augsburger

Finding God's choice of a husband or wife is a key element of a happy marriage. Here are some thoughts that others have found helpful in evaluating a potential partner for a godly marriage.


Testimonies Of Godly Courtships

On this page  you will find the testimonies of the Christian courtships of several couples. I believe you will be blessed in listening to these stories of God bringing couples together.