"The young and the old cannot be treated alike and that “age and character must be taken into account.”
" If students feel that they are dealt with unjustly and without consideration, there is greater temptation to disregard the rules of the school and the advice of the teachers."
Early statements of Ellen White took a very hard line on any courtship activities in schools as a result of the early schools being more like high schools with younger students. Eventually, as a result of older and more experienced students attending these schools, counsel that had been appropriately given in the past needed to be reconsidered, particularly because there was much variation between the various schools in the denomination.
Ellen White wrote and approved wording that made room for more mature students in the following statement:
"In all our dealings with students, age and character must be taken into account. We cannot treat the young and the old just alike. There are circumstances under which men and women of sound experience and good standing may be granted some privileges not given to the younger students. The age, the conditions, and the turn of mind must be taken into consideration. We must be wisely considerate in all our work. But we must not lessen our firmness and vigilance in dealing with students of all ages, nor our strictness in forbidding the unprofitable and unwise association of young and immature students."—CPT, p. 101. {6BIO 386.2}
"There were differences in policies from college to college; some allowed students of mature age and of good standing to meet in the dormitory parlor by permission of the preceptress. Other college administrators thought no provision should be made for such association, and were certain that their position was in harmony with the testimonies and Ellen White’s oral teachings (DF 251, WCW to Elders G. A. Irwin and E. E. Andross, September 7, 1912). {6BIO 382.2}
In early September, 1912, W. C. White talked over this matter with his mother. He mentioned to her that administrators who were inclined to some leniency felt “that the strong and unqualified statements in the testimonies regarding this matter refer to and apply chiefly to the schools made up largely of young and immature students” (Ibid.). {6BIO 382.3}
Ellen White responded at length, pointing out that the young and the old cannot be treated alike and that “age and character must be taken into account.” She stated that men and women of sound experience and good standing have a right to expect some privileges not granted to the young and immature. {6BIO 382.4}
She mentioned also that if administrators are too stringent in this matter, they shall make a serious mistake. If students feel that they are dealt with unjustly and without consideration, there is greater temptation to disregard the rules of the school and the advice of the teachers (Ibid.). {6BIO 382.5}
Pacific Union College, nearby, was one of the schools holding to the more conservative position. Its president, C. W. Irwin, had served in the Avondale school, where the school calendar quoted from an E. G. White letter stating: {6BIO 383.1}
We have labored hard to keep in check everything in the school like
favoritism, attachments, and courting. We have told the students that we would not allow the first thread of this to be interwoven with their schoolwork. On this point we are as firm as a rock.—Letter 145, 1897. {6BIO 383.2}
This he had enforced as president of the Avondale school and was currently attempting to enforce as president of Pacific Union College. As W. C. White discussed with him the forthcoming book of counsels on education, Irwin pressed hard for the inclusion of something on courtship, rather expecting that it would be an elaboration of the counsel given to the Avondale school. {6BIO 383.3}
You can read about the history behind this in the sixth volume of her biography, Chapter 28, pp. 382-386.