Our next lesson in romance came a few moments after Red—a male Northern Cardinal—was romancing Juanita—a female Northern Cardinal—by feeding her. The lesson came from three finches who were doing their own form of romancing.
Apparently two male finches were pursuing one female. Both males were aggressively pursuing her, which did not look like much romance, and eventually the males began attacking each other. Actually one was really aggressive and was being downright mean to the other one. It was almost painful to watch.
When we first noticed what was going on, the males were literally fighting on the female and next to her and she was being beaten about. Later they were attacking each other in her vicinity, but she didn't seem to be too affected by what was going on.
If I would have been her I would have been seriously wondering if the aggressive one would make much of a mate. After the romance wore off, would the same aggressiveness be demonstrated in their relationship.
Perhaps the aggressiveness was welcomed as a desirable quality for when enemies might attack the nest, but what works for Finches does not work for human beings.
The same aggressive behavior in human relationships is often an indicator of challenges and possible future heartache.
We sometimes see individuals aggressively pursuing a desired romantic object. The aggressor has such a need for the relationship that the individual is almost baggage in the process. Potential rivals are attacked and relationships are thoroughly disrupted. And the person being pursued, and feelings regarding the aggressiveness, are virtually ignored.
When the dust finally settles and things are more normal, the pursuer becomes more gentle, but by that time the behavior in pursuing has turned off the person being sought.
Lest you jump to conclusions, this can happen when men pursue women; it can also happen when women pursue men. In the cases that I am personally acquainted with, the outcomes were not positive. Thankfully, in all the cases that come to mind, the desired relationship was not realized.
Perhaps the gentleness of Jesus and the exhibition of "other-centered" true love as delineated in 1 Cor. 13 might be a better way.
The cardinal pair who mate for life, continue showing each other much affection, and we are grateful for their more positive "other-centered" example.
How are we doing? Are we following the Finches more "self-centered approach," or are we following the more "other-centered" approach of the Cardinals?—Dan