The first factor has to do with core values. Adopting appropriate core values assures the group remains healthy, continues multiplying, develops new leaders, and keeps God at the center.
Fundamental to a healthy small group is the belief that we are fully saved as a result of our personal faith in the finished work of Jesus on the cross. Recognizing that every group member is equally saved based on what Jesus has done negates performance comparisons. No member will be “better” than any other. All members are sinners, saved by grace, and share in the unmerited favor of God.
Growing individual surrender to God’s leading is another important value. The more a group is passionate about obedience, the more the group will experience the power of God. This value cannot be proscribed, applies on an individual basis, and must be modeled by the leader. As increasing numbers of group members pursue full surrender, other group members will eventually share the same “whatever the Lord says we will do” conviction.
Successful small groups strongly believe individual members have been created in the image of God, have a unique walk with God, and are being individually led by God. Accepting the varying ways God is working with group members is critical to a healthy group. Groups quickly get into trouble when group-accepted ways of behaving become mandated. The purpose of the group relative to this core value is to affirm the individual walks of members, provide loving reality checks, encourage members to seek wisdom in God’s word and through prayer, and to accept God’s answer, affirm the adjustments that may need to be made, and to uphold in prayer.
Affirming individual members in healthy ways is critical to the spiritual health of the individual member as well as the group. While a healthy group will stress a growing surrender, the necessary environment nurturing that surrender will be one of acceptance, respect, and the awareness that individuals, fully covered by the righteousness of Jesus, grow at different rates. God’s part is to convict, ours is to encourage.
Because group members tend to become “real,” the group will eventually become aware of areas where members are struggling. It would be hard for the group not to legislate behavior if it were not recognized that changing hearts and behaviors are God’s responsibility. As the Bible is actively read and prayed over with others, members will be individually convicted of areas of incomplete surrender. Instead of the group pushing the person to change in guilt-producing ways, members will encourage each other to look for Jesus to do what they cannot do for themselves. In my experience with groups, I continue to be amazed at the radical changes that have taken place without a single “you shouldn’t” statement being made. Often I have been aware a person was struggling, but didn’t know what to do or say, and therefore just prayed about the situation. The results have been amazing and dramatic, and have been the result of the Holy Spirit successfully convicting an individual who is experiencing the encouraging culture of the group. A snowball effect proceeds, for as members observe the growing surrender taking place in others, they ask God to do the same in themselves. And the more change takes place, the more powerful the group experience becomes.
A group cannot long survive if members do not feel safe to be themselves. The ability to create a safe environment is dependent on group members realizing that people created in the image of God have feet of clay and need a safe place where God can deal with the clay. Once again, affirming recognition of who a person can become in Christ, an awareness that we share similar struggles, and the respectful commitment to help group members become whole, creates a shared desire to protect one another.
The question is then raised relative to appropriate transparency. I suggest that group members not share anything that could not be shared on the outside. Life Change Groups are more open, but even then, caution should always be exercised. A good rule of thumb is not to share anything that you would not want shared on the outside. Much can be communicated without the specifics. A statement of “I’m struggling with money issues” is totally adequate to garner the prayer and encouragement of other group members without getting into specifics. Groups are focused on the Bible and prayer and how God is leading, not on struggles!
God’s authority has to be an underpinning of all small group activities. The group never has sufficient wisdom to think for another person or to take the place of God. Neither does the group have the combined wisdom to solve practical problems. Group members can offer suggestions and provide reality checks, but ultimately the group’s primary role is to confirm the issue has been struggled over by others, affirm that God cares, suggest God will provide the necessary wisdom directly or lead the member to a person having the wisdom, and commit to holding person up while they seek God’s wisdom and will on the matter. Group members must resist becoming self-made counselors or experts!
It seems self-evident, but worth repeating, prayer is the vehicle bringing change. Group members should strongly endorse prayer as the appropriate way to respond to challenges and difficulties. Through the prayers offered in group, members are reminded the preferred answer to any dilemma is God’s answer! A sense of expectancy is also created when requests are shared and prayed over during the week.
A normal outgrowth of a successful group is healthy involvement outside the group setting. This may take the form of getting together socially, doing something positive in the community, witnessing together, etc.. Such activity is necessary and a blessing.
Maintaining balance is an ongoing challenge. A group has to continually assess whether group activities are promoting greater balance in their individual lives or less. Because group activities are so meaningful and life-changing, it is easy to become unbalanced.
Relating to other group members could become more meaningful than relating to one’s spouse. A healthy group will always recognize and affirm the priority of other relationships in the member’s life. If the group is successful, participation in the group will lead to happier homes and marriages, and valued employment relationships in the workplace.
A significant part of a group’s excitement is praying for opportunities to witness, and sharing the answers...if not bringing the results...the person witnessed to...to the next meeting. Groups become stale without an “outer” focus. Ultimately, groups are about members becoming the people God can use to reach others, and those members using the nurturing environment of the group to invite outsiders to.
Groups must grow to survive. Inviting others to share in the blessings of the group should be a continuing interest of members. When groups reach an appropriate size, they divide. Recognizing the ongoing need to divide is an important value that all group members should support. Division is exciting, painful, but necessary.
God’s ability to bless is greatly impacted by the godly behavior of the individual members and the group. Groups can also be threatening to non-group members. The need for godly “clean hands” behavior to bring acceptance cannot be stressed enough.
The way God leads a group’s development will take surprising turns. To fixate too strongly on a specified course of action or agenda can greatly diminish God’s ability to lead, to say nothing of causing unnecessary frustration on the part of members. Surprises often bring unanticipated blessings in their train. The important part is that God is in control.